It was an early November late Friday afternoon at the San Diego offices of Fresh Image, Inc. Conveniently located within walking distance of Petco Park and a host of ethnic and fusion cuisine restaurants, the five story, glassy building fairly glistened as the sun began to set over the nearby Pacific.

Fresh Image was hot, and everyone knew it. Clients paid big money to refashion themselves under the tutelage of Fresh Image staff. The employees at FI were typically young, educated, hip, and extraordinarily well-read. Most were physically fit as well. The long hours demanded by FI were lavishly compensated and management encouraged employees to take long exercise breaks in the massive gym located on the ground floor, or scenic runs along the Pacific shore.

In their fourth floor suite the Apollo project team could afford to relax. The team, named Apollo for their interest in everything from Greek mythology to African-American culture, could now kick back because their biggest project to date, revamping Greyhound bus drivers, was, obviously, a huge success. For a couple years running twenty bus drivers at a time, from around the country, had traveled to San Diego for two weeks of intensive training at Fresh Image. After two tough, mind and body stretching, but ultimately satisfying weeks of non-stop physical training, nutrition counseling, and a host of seminars ranging from conflict management to improving cultural sensitivity, the bus drivers uniformly concluded the fourteen days enthused to utilize their new-found skills. And when FI's clothing design consultants presented the drivers with their new specially-designed-just-for-Greyhound uniforms, stylish long-sleeve shirts that communicated just the right touch of easy-going down home warmth mixed with professionalism, well, the Greyhound drivers were a happy group of reformed men and women.

The Apollo team was celebrating their success over oatmeal raisin cookies and peach herbal tea when Sheri Moore, the project leader of the Greyhound task, noticed a message pop up on her laptop. It was from Jim Mansfield in the new clients department. Leaning over, Sheri took a small bite of her oatmeal raisin cookie as she read Jim's email. She could not keep from laughing as she scanned the communication.

``What's so funny?'' Maggie Ordonez, the high-energy sparkplug of the Apollo team asked.

``You will not believe this,'' exclaimed Sheri.

``Who's it from?'' inquired Lonnie Warkentin, the team's resident surfer.

``It's from Mansfield. He's proposing a new client. Thinks we're just the ones for the job.''

``Dude, Jimbo, give us a break, I need to catch some waves,'' said Lonnie.

``Hey look, I'm getting tired of bus drivers, it's time to move on, who is it?'' asked Sam Merton, the only person with a doctorate on the Apollo team. Sam had his PhD in psychology but knew more about everything from ancient history to pop culture than anyone else on the team.

``Listen up, here's what he says.''

Sheri began reading. Hey, A-team! I've got a new one for you. You won't believe it. I'm not kidding either. You know, the Christmas season isn't too far away and I don't know if you Apollolites are religious or not but, I got this letter asking if we'd do some work on a fellow they call John the Baptist.''

``Get off!'' yelled Lonnie. ``I know the dude, I mean, I know of him.''

``John the Baptist,'' perked up Maggie, ``surely not the John the Baptist. If you mean that John the Baptist then our ``client'' has been dead for 2,000 years! Something's not right.''

``It must be the same one,'' said Sheri. ``Jim says right here, Look, I know this seems really strange, and I know John the Baptist has been dead for nearly 2,000 years, but the person who wrote us promises top dollar. He wonders if we can somehow revitalize John the Baptist, make him relevant for our times, get people excited about him again.''

``This has got to be some kind of joke,'' said Sam, while reaching for another cookie.

``Oh no it isn't,'' said Jim, bursting into the room. ``I figured you'd be talking about this. Let me assure you, it's legit. And we want you, the Apollo team, to do whatever it takes to reshape, reconceptualize, and reform John the Baptist. You've got to make him irresistible to the modern person. Hey, it's a challenge! Let's see how good you really are! So, when are you starting?'' Jim was rubbing his hands together furiously, a sure sign that he was excited.

Monday morning at 9 a.m. the Apollo team reassembled in the corner office room. Sheri got things started, ``so what do we know about John the Baptist?''

Sam, of course, was ready with an answer. ``Something of a wild man, though his parents were calm enough, Zechariah and Elizabeth. Outspoken. Lived off the land. Religious. It is said he baptized Jesus.''

``Hmmmm, just that gives me some ideas,'' mused Sheri. ``If he's the outdoor type then maybe we get him some play in ``Outdoor Sportsman'' or ``Fish and Stream,'' magazines like that. We know the editors, we have writers, maybe they could come up with some pieces that imagine what John would be like today. Like ``John on the Snake River'' or ``John, hiking the Muir Trail.''

``Actually, I think he spent more time out in the desert,'' Maggie offered. ``He's not the backpacking, fishermen, high country type. I think he's more like a hermit out in the middle of nowhere.''

``Think about it, Maggie,'' Sheri replied, ``Remember, we are trying to transplant John the Baptist into the present, and then improve him, of course, for the modern sensibility.''

``What to have him wear will be a problem, I can tell you that right now,'' said Lonnie, while tossing the Starbuck's bag that once held his raspberry scone into the garbage can near Sheri's desk.

``Three points!'' he yelled as the crumpled bag rattled into the empty can.

``What do you mean?'' asked the sophisticated Sheri.

``Dude, has anybody here gone to Sunday School? The guy was crazy! He wore animal skins. For land's sake! He ate locust and wild honey!''

``The market's pretty narrow for people like that, we've got to soften him up,'' calculated Maggie.

``Surely you've all heard of the musical Godspell ? Sam offered. Heads nodded. ``Well, there's this song in there, ``Prepare ye the way of the Lord,'' it's taken right from the Bible, from Matthew's account of John the Baptist.''

``Man, it rocks!'' exclaimed Lonnie.

``Which is precisely the problem,'' continued Sam, ``too much rhythm, too many drums. We can get the same music but round it off more, maybe a big string section instead of the drums.''

``Basically we want the music to be more mellow, the kind of music people listen to while shopping at Gottschalks,'' suggested Maggie.

``That's right,'' concluded Sheri, ``I think things are starting to click. Look, let's all go back to our stations and do some more research on our own. This John the Baptist shouldn't be too hard to get under control. We'll meet again tomorrow, 9 a.m. sharp!''

The Fresh Image professionals spent the remainder of the day and into the night exploring the life and times of John the Baptist. Sam was particularly interested in historical reflections on John. He wondered what to make of what John Chrysostom of the 4 ^th century said of John:
For he had need neither of room, nor bed, nor table, nor any such thing. But even while still within this flesh of ours he lived an almost angelic life. His clothing was put together from the hair of camels, so that even from his garments he might teach us that we free ourselves of human needs, and need not be bound to this earth, but that we may return to the pristine dignity in which Adam first lived… (ACCS, II, p. 8.)

Sam found something interesting in reading second century historian Tertullian. Commenting on John's call for repentance the apologist said:
He called us to purge our minds of whatever impurity error had imparted, whatever contamination ignorance had engendered, which repentance would sweep and scour away, and cast out. So prepare the home of your heart by making it clean for the Holy Spirit. (ACCS, II, p. 4)

Maggie devoted her time to figuring out how to integrate John into the upcoming Christmas season. He was clearly a player. Most every year, she discovered in her research, churches devote time to John the Baptist during the weeks leading up to Christmas. But the more she researched, the more she asked herself what such an unsavory character was doing in the Christmas story.

Lonnie felt that some of his most creative times were while lying on his board in the Pacific, waiting for a wave. So he grabbed his long board from the room marked ``Storage: staff only'' and headed out to the ocean. Soon enough, out beyond the breaking waves, Lonnie lay flat on his board, trying to imagine what it may have been like.

Sheri, to be frank, felt that John was a hopeless cause. Beyond the obvious fact that he was dead, there was his complete lack of civility and manners. ``Men! Ancients!'' she muttered to herself, her stomach churning as she read the old accounts. ``And I thought bus drivers had bad manners,'' she thought.

The next day the Apollo team gathered in the corner conference room. The aroma of Starbuck's coffee and Lonnie's daily raspberry scone filled the room.

Sheri decided to get things started by venting. ``This guy has absolutely no relational skills. The first rule of negotiating differences with others is to learn to respect the other person for who they are. But what does John do? He obviously doesn't care for these Pharisees and Sadducees, whoever they are, so he yells at them, he calls them names! The first thing he has to learn is how to treat other people with some common decency.''

``Listen,'' began Maggie, ``like it or not John is part of the whole Christmas thing, the Christmas story. Basically we have to keep the entire story sweet and clean. The gentle mother Mary. The caring father Joseph. The cooing baby Jesus. The tranquil animals standing around. All that works. We have to picture John like an excitable, slightly eccentric, but completely lovable grandpa who tells everyone he is soon to be a grandpa again. That way he works well with the tender manger scene!''

`Then what do we do with what he said?'' asked Lonnie. ``We can't just pretend that he never said `Repent, the kingdom of heaven is near'''

``Maybe it comes down to what people mean by `repent''' offered Sheri.

``Well, this is problematic, if we are faithful to history,'' Sam said. ``For religious people repentance, or to repent, is a very important concept. Repentance meant a total reorientation of a person's life. Christians might say it meant living a life controlled by, geared around, their Lord, Jesus I guess, instead of the things they call `sin'''

``Well, here we go again,'' asserted Maggie. ``That's just too much drama, it's way more than what people can handle. People can't just wrench themselves from being one way to another way. John needs to encourage people to stay in the broad, comfortable middle. So repentance really just means accepting and believing in the kind and gentle Jesus of Christmas. A kind of Christmas we all know and love. You know, bells, wonderful music, television specials, sleigh rides, the whole nine yards.''

``Well, there, I think we're getting a great handle on this guy,'' exclaimed Sheri, clapping her hands together as she spoke while still staring at her laptop. ``We've got the core conceptual ideas in place. We just need to flesh them out a little more. Maybe we can market this new John with some of our clothing people. They're always looking for ideas. We all know that outdoors wear is booming. And maybe our writers can weave this lively, forward looking John into some of their Christmas scripts. I know its historically inaccurate, but who cares? OK, let's all get to work. We'll meet again in a week, same time, same place.''

The Fresh Image Apollo project team all returned to their stations. Lonnie sat in front of his screen, staring at the screensaver. An endless string of surfers kept gliding down perfect Hawaiian waves. But Lonnie wasn't really thinking about surfing. He kept thinking about John the Baptist, and what it must have been like out in the desert. Was he really trying to get people to stay in the ``broad, comfortable middle,'' like Maggie said?

Late in the day Lonnie still hadn't got much done. He decided to pack it in. He jogged down the steps to the ground floor. Rather than hopping on his bike and heading towards his condo overlooking the bay, he decided to walk up towards town. This meant passing through some of the old parts of downtown San Diego, a section that had not yet been revitalized.

As he walked Lonnie noticed the gashes in the cement, some torn down buildings, and an old empty parking lot, weeds growing up through the cracks. As he approached the far corner of the parking lot he saw a man, a sandwich sign slung over his shoulders. A tin can sat on the ground near his feet. Lonnie, as he drew closer, noticed that his shoes were old, his hands gnarled, his black coat frayed around the cuffs, and his eyes moist. Lonnie stopped to read the sign. On the front, in a huge scrawl, was the word ``Repent!'' On the back, in a smaller disheveled print, the phrase ``Prepare ye the way of the Lord!''

``Whooa Dude,'' Lonnie whispered to himself. Then he grabbed his wallet. He looked inside. He had a couple twenties, several fives, and some ones. Sixty-two dollars in total. He fingered the bills in his hand, folded them neatly, and dropped the cash, every single bill, into the tin can.


--December 5, 2004